Both irl and on the internet I see so many people who don’t just want a romantic partner but genuinely depend on having a romantic partner. Which is fine, we all tend to get hyperfixated on ideas of what is going to finally make us happier and more functional human beings. But if you get serious mental health issues because you’re single something is wrong and that isn’t the lack of a partner. From what I’ve seen there are usually quite obvious issues with self-esteem, attachment, emotional maturity and all those other beautiful things that are most definitely going to turn your relationship to shit if you’re not controlling them.

Of course it’s entirely possible to work on these problems with a partner. There are times where having a romantic partner with you is a great aid to better yourself. However, in *my experience* more often than not, that’s not what happens. Most of us (including me) are emotionally immature and stupid. We hardly look beyond anything but the immediate future. The people who finally get the partner they were so desperate for usually get a rush of excitement, fail to establish any kind of communication, boundaries and goals in the relationship bc they’re so hyperfixated on the fact that there’s finally someone with them. Both partners then end up reinforcing each others bad traits bc they are either blind to it or afraid of losing the other or in other cases one partner just assimilates into the other partner. (Plus you can’t forget the part where they forget about everything outside the relationship.) Eventually the relationship falls apart once that rush has ended.

The end itself usually is pretty bad bc either both partners are so emotionally dependent on the other that they can’t get away without breaking themselves for a significant amount of time or one of them becomes distant whilst the other stays overly dependent, which then suddenly makes them an asshole. Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone, plus we’re all free to do whatever we want. Still atleast in my experience most people who are overly desperate for a relationship, usually end up having awful relationships.

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