You know what’s boring and lame and passé and boomer and stupid? Watching your television with normal speakers. Just the thought of it is making me want to hurl all over the nearest soundbar. And, friends, Sony knows this. Sony is here for you. Shh, let Sony hold you. Sony‘s getting closer now. “Oh,” Sony says, “you feel that?” Sony is wrapping itself around your neck, you’re worried for a moment, but then Sony starts to buzz and vibrate pleasantly on your shoulders. You look down and — shock, horror, joy, surprise — it’s not Sony at all! No, it’s…

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